My name is …
I was born in 1994 in Langa. I have two sisters who are older than me. I grew up in a supportive family, actually, but deep down inside, I had an anger because my mother was there, but I never had a father, up until I saw him when I was in grade eight.
This dark cloud started from grade seven, when I felt like I was nobody. Because deep down, I was full of anger. And I had this boyfriend. I thought he was in love with me, but he was not, because the things he was doing to me, he was doing what he wanted to do to my body, whatever he felt like. But I never told anyone at home, because I thought telling my family it will tear them apart, or tear us apart, because we were in a relationship. He knew everything I told him about my family, and then he took advantage of that.
Actually, it happened in the cemetery here in Langa when he was forcing himself on me, with his friends watching. And then friends joined. But here again, I said, OK, it is what it is.
Even now, my mother doesn’t know that. I told myself I would take this into my grave, but she first passed away, and then I told myself, okay, it’s fine. Whatever happened to me is water under the bridge. But he continued doing the same thing, giving me drugs to ease my mind or to make me forget. But making a wound inside my heart.
This is how I came to the Sibambane Support Group, because I saw a lot of women. They were wearing this great t-shirt with purple words in it. And I asked one of them, what is it? I thought it was a job thing. And then they said, ah no it’s a support group for women. And then I came and joined. But I never shared my story with them, because I have to see and search if these are people that I can trust with the things inside me. But there’s a lot of this going on.
Actually, I just feel free here at Sibambene. Even when I wake up, I’m so excited to come here again, because I can see there’s a lot of love, a lot of laughter. The enjoyment is there, even sharing ideas. This GBV, it’s the same thing that we are seeing each and every day on our own street, at night and during the day. It’s not something that we see in a magazine or on the television. It’s the thing that we see throughout the day.
How old people are buying small kids with alcohol because they know there are problems behind. And I was one of those victims. He was my father’s friend. Because he knew that my father was not part of us. He was a married man. He was a support, a friend of my father, bringing us food, electricity, and money for school. But he knew what he was looking for up until he took me from school.
This thing has been haunting me from day one, and now I have a daughter, and I don’t want to take my frustration out on my daughter. I just want my daughter to live a normal life like I never did before. I just want her to be that child that I can be proud of one day.
